I'm Going to Hell

I always assumed that if I worked on an organic farm in exchange for food, the food would be healthy and organic—or at least natural. Not so.

Danny gives us free reign of the pantry. It’s a nice perk for volunteers because we choose our own meals and eat what we want. Unfortunately, that pantry is full of processed foods, all containing high-fructose corn syrup, trans fats and Red 5. Danny isn’t big on greens; the only vegetables in the whole house are a case of canned mushrooms and a half-empty jar of artichoke hearts. Most of the meals here consist of bacon, sausage, sweet cereal, rice-a-roni and bacon. Farm-direct veggies normally make up about 70% of my diet and I’m going through withdrawal. I would kill for a fresh head of lettuce right now. And if it were organic, that would make my year, but that’s reaching for the stars.

Danny is from Santa Barbara and is very knowledgeable about the natural food industry. He did, after all, choose to grow an organic vineyard from scratch. Whenever he visits his family in Cali, he stocks up on natural foods for the trip back, but that hasn’t happened in a long time. His shopping choices here are very limited.

“Organic” is a foreign word in the Utah countryside. Even his farming neighbors don’t understand why Danny would want to grow something without pesticides, so there is absolutely no demand for natural or organic food out here. We’re also in the middle of the dessert, which doesn’t help. The nearest food retailer is a tiny grocery in Monticello, about 45 minutes away, and it’s good for overpriced staples (i.e., bacon). Fully stocking up on supplies at an affordable rate, however, requires a two-hour drive to the mammoth discount store in Cortez.

Walmart.

I hate Walmart. I despise Walmart. I wish every Walmart on the planet would burn to the ground, and I wouldn’t hesitate to light the match if I knew they would stay down. Walmart is a plague to our social, environmental and economic well-being. I spent the last five years of my life working at a natural food co-op to encourage anti-Walmart values. Last fall, I needed a new phone charger and drove 20 miles out of my way to avoid giving Walmart money for one. Yet, I’m hungry.

Danny did a shopping trip to the wretched megastore today and invited me to come along to help pick out food. I jumped at the chance to make sure something green came back. It turns out that even the Walmarts out here are sparse on veggies. And while Walmarts on the West coast brag about their huge selection of organic goods, the one in Cortez doesn’t have that demand, so they don’t supply. No bother—beggars can’t be choosers. I was ecstatic to fill a shopping cart with the cheapest and most unethical broccoli, asparagus, cauliflower and sweet potatoes I’ve ever seen.

I’m still having some guilt issues over the whole thing, but I’m snacking on a plate of asparagus as I’m typing this and damn, it’s good.

I’m sure my friends from Oregon will understand my conflict. Everyone else will probably just think I’m a snob. Whatev.